How it Feels to be Transgender in the Closet

Imagine this scenario if you will?! You're stuck in a dark elevator on the 100th floor of a tall sky scrapper. You're alone, you have no cell phone and no one knows that the elevator is stuck in place. You have no way of letting anyone know you're stuck there and no way of ever reaching out. It's a scary scenario already, is it not? Well, lets make it scarier! As you stand in the darkness of this elevator you start to feel panic. You're terrified of the idea that you may never get out of this elevator. After a short while, you begin to feel scared and hopeless. You have no idea what's going to happen next. Than it dawns on you; one of two things is going to happen next. Either you'll be stuck in this dark, intimidating elevator with no contact with the outside world or two, this elevator is going to take a dramatic drop from the 100th floor, down to lobby level. The question after this is, will you survive?

This is what being transgender has felt like for me throughout the 12 years I hid away my true identity to everyone. The two options I had were to either try and continue my life as male and not tell anyone, or take the plunge down to lobby level and hope I'd survive the fall. If you've been following along on my journey, you'd know I chose the latter of the two options. It was the scariest decision I've ever had to make in my life but when you're stuck and feel so alone with no way of communicating with anyone, you tend to take drastic chances. The fall down to lobby level was just as scary as you'd expect, but I made it out alive and now I'm happier now more than I ever have been before.

Thanks for reading. Tell me about your own experience whether you're still in the elevator or have taken the fall already. Follow me on Twitter @Jennavie_C. Please share if you know of anyone who needs to read this. It can change someones life dramatically. Thank You JennavieC XOXOXO.

#Transgender #Dysphoria #Inthecloset #Howitfeels